Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Goodbye to Zelda
Goodbye to Zelda
I have never really been a cat person. In fact when I was younger I was allergic to cat and would break out in red whelps whenever I was exposed to cat hair.
I am much more of a dog guy. I love my big lovable mutt Smash. We love to romp in the woods together and enjoy the outdoors.
This cat however, won me over with her unconditional love. She would always rub against me every time I was in range. She would walk a figure eight between my legs. I was always tripping over her in the mornings as she refused to get out from under my feet.
At night her favorite place to sleep was on top of me. If I lay on my side she would be on my hip. If I had an itch under the covers, she would pounce on my hand. She had a very loud and soothing purr that would always boost my mood as she lay beside or on top of me in the bed.
She was a little gray cat that my son rescued from the animal shelter. She had been with us less than a year. I did not realize how much I had grown attached to her until this weekend when my son found her dead in the yard. Apparently she had been killed by a dog bite.
I try to think of the happy times when I would pick her up and cuddle her and tell her that she does not even notice that I don’t like cats. She never did notice. She just cuddled and purred to me.
I had never known a cat to purr so loudly or so often. Her purr would vibrate the whole bed when she lay beside me. She was such a sweet and loving animal.
I am trying to make sense of her death by looking at things metaphysically. I do remember one day recently thinking that if she never purred like that to me again I would feel really sad. That was an accurate prediction. I am very sad that I will never feel her purr for me again.
I know that her death means there is some part of me that has died or that I think needs to die. I am looking for that part.
For now I am going to try to think about what she taught me about love. She loved me and showed me affection even thought I did not like cats. She won me over with her love and purring. I never even minded that she would nip at my legs in the morning after I got out of the shower. She was a very loving little spirit. I guess her job here was done. But I miss her.